Celebrating Yourself: Matt's Story
My name is Matt, I am 32 years old and I am from Canada.
Although Canada is considered a progressive country, I never experienced positive representation of the LGBTQ+ community in my life growing up. I was a shy kid who tried to fit in at school and follow what my family and community thought was “normal.” I was also a top athlete, and in a world where being gay is not always accepted. As a member of the Canadian national swimming team, I was always concerned about what others thought of me. All of these factors made it difficult to find my confused identity, and it took me a long time to come to terms with who I was. I didn’t really find my true identity until I stopped swimming. It was the first time I felt free. I could come out as gay as I wanted. I opened my world to new and amazing friendships and experiences.
While I was able to live my personal life as freely as I wanted, my professional life was full of uncertainty. I moved to Asia to work as a full-time teacher at an international school. However, I was concerned about coming out about my sexuality, as I was aware of the local stereotypes and prejudices against gay male teachers. When I was teaching at a high school in China, a drunk colleague took me out to a bar one night. I was very worried that I might lose my job. On top of that, I also had to deal with my conservative parents who did not understand me.
There were many other scary things that happened to me. While I was walking home late at night in Toronto, a car full of men followed me and they started yelling at me out of the car window. Another incident happened in the United States. I got slapped in the face because of the way I spoke. But overall, I am lucky that I have not encountered any difficult situations or discrimination in my gay life. My family has accepted and understood me. I currently live with my husband in Taipei, one of the most gay-friendly places in the world and one of the few places where I feel comfortable holding my husband's hand in public.
My husband Julien is 31 years old and he comes from France. Growing up as an Asian, he had a hard time finding a place to belong. After questioning his sexual orientation, he began to feel that he could not fully be himself due to the way people viewed and treated gay people in the society he lived in. He also had to face challenges with his family 's traditional Asian ideas, which considered talking about sex a taboo.
One of the most traumatic experiences he shared with me was an incident that happened in 2012, when he was starting his own business, a women's clothing store. While he was working in the store, he heard someone on the street say loudly, "Don't go in this store. The owner looks like a gay Asian guy." After that incident, for almost 8 years, he decided to live a quiet life, being careful about his personal life and being very careful about what other people thought of him, because he was afraid that it might have a negative impact on his business.
Today, since he decided to move out of France, each day he feels more himself and happier. He feels that he can finally be who he wants to be, not only with his friends but also with the people at work. We have both decided to live our lives freely and proudly.
We can't imagine the struggles LGBTQ+ youth face growing up in places where homosexuality is a crime. While many countries have become more open and welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community over the past few decades, for most societies around the world, there is still a long way to go before change can be made. We hope our stories can help, inspire and educate others to build a better future.
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